BRAKEING NEWSZ

Pmurt Weighs In On Mothers Day

The man most committed to taking down our democracy made this unexpected announcement today:

“You may have been wondering if the last two press releases were written by me since the phrase ‘witch hunt’ was not included at least ten times.

Rest uninsured, you non-rich people, it was me me me who wrote them.

I have thought long and hard, at least fifteen minutes with a couple breaks, and I just don’t wanna mess with all that oval office business. More about me later.

As much as I love attention — ah there is nothing quite so sweet as hearing words fall out of my mouth like maybe we could disinfect our insides — I look around to see if there is a ventriloquist nearby.

Did I say that? We know all news that tells stories like that are false, fake, faux. Oh, there is a video? Hilary Clinton no doubt is behind it. One more reason to lock her up!

I have been informed by someone who knows nothing that the lie-o-meter used in the white house press room just exploded one day during my first ill-gotten residency. Probably made in China like all the voting machines that register any democrat win.

Today is Mothers Day and I want to acknowledge myself for creating the holiday as another avenue to recognize my own accomplishments. I work harder than any mother ever in the history of the world, even that lady that gave birth to the savior of the world, my own mother.

My mother was the luckiest mother ever to give birth to me, a stable genius, which may be a reference to the circumstances of my birth which happened in a stable in Bethlehem.

And you wonder why the jews love me. Same reason the black people love me — I defeated slavery, and the brown people — I made discrimination great again.

Happy Mothers Day to all who love me.”

4 Pictures are Worth at Least 1000 Words

Share a story about someone who had a positive impact on your life.

Must … Post

WordPress alleges that the most traffic on my blog occurs on Fridays at 9am, but what’s a body to do when inspiration strikes on a Saturday at 6:37pm? That body posts? yes she does.

Today was grad party for my niece, the 10th of the 12 grandchildren in our family. My nephew graduates next week, and Kepler, the last and best grandchild of all, graduates one year from now.

There were cards for guests to complete at the party.

Advice for the graduate:

I hope you always ____.
Hope you never forget ____.
I hope you experience ____.
Be open to ____.
Don’t be afraid to ____.
My last piece of advice is ____.

Perhaps you have attended a graduation party this May where you saw a similar party favor. But let’s put the graduates aside for a second.

1. What responses would you give your 18yo self?

2. What responses would you direct toward your current self?

Answering this question for my 18yo self and also my current self:

I hope you always believe in the power of love. Of course, first you will have to develop a belief in that power of powers.

I hope you always remember you are perfectly imperfect and don’t need to change a thing. You will grow and experience changes but you are just right exactly as you are right now.

I hope you experience the power of live music as often as possible. Music touches our souls and is a language of love.

Be open to the idea that what you think you know is only a tiny portion of all there is. Be open to what life offers you. Say yes.

Don’t be afraid to be wrong. Lessons come from failure, my babe. The Universe has your back. You don’t have to have everything figured out.

My last piece of advice is to tune into your body. Check with your body when you are facing a choice. Listen to your body. Let your mind follow, not lead.

MORE BRAKING NEWZ

Pmurt unrepents, changes mind

The person most committed to destroying our democracy made this unexpected announcement today:

“Today, my lion tamer handlers forced me to watch The Shawshank Redemption. They told me it was going to be a replay of the beautiful January 6th peaceful patriotic rally, but they baited and switched me.

I didn’t realize what I was watching at first. The people fighting and causing a scene in the movie seemed pretty close to what happened at the entirely peaceful patriotic rally. But then I thought. ‘was Tim Robbins at the peaceful patriotic rally? Did I see Morgan Freeman?’

As the movie went on, I started to think maybe this wasn’t a replay of the entirely peaceful patriotic rally. Turns out, it was about

*PRISON*

I’ve been practicing “man, woman, person, camera, tv” pretty hard for my next cognitive test, so I have been a little distracted.

As the movie continued, I started to wonder if this movie had any basis in reality? Where are the big men with tears in their eyes asking if I have their backs like they have mine?

As the movie continued, I got a little worried. I asked for some ketchup and a diet coke and a hamberder because movies need snacks.

After awhile, I realized I don’t actually want to go to that so it will be necessary for me to get re-elected by hook and definitely by crook(ed). Like I said in my last press conference,

‘What’s good for me is what’s good for the country.’

Something like that, anyway.

So your favorite president is back on the campaign trail. And I am certain underprivileged people will be just fine without that $450M they’ll spend for my golfing expeditions during my next ill-gotten gains residency.

Sure I love golf, but I’ve already proven I can golf for four years and phone it in for the job. I don’t think prison would look good on me. Would probably get low ratings. See ya on the gravy train trail.”

Carefree Timelessness

What does freedom mean to you?

In the hurly burly and the to-ing and fro-ing of life, I’m often rushing around, on the way somewhere, or otherwise scheduled. Many of us live very busy lives. (Many live much busier lives than I’m interested in anymore, but I lived through a season of that.)

Once upon a time, Friend Husband and I discovered this concept. It means simply being together. No appointments. No rushing. Just time together.

“Relationships don’t thrive under the pressures of our modern day schedules. All of life’s important relationships thrive under the condition of carefree timelessness. Learn to waste time with the people you love.”

Matthew Kelly

I take small exception to his use of “waste.” It is not a waste of time to just be together without an agenda.

There is no freedom quite as free as carefree timelessness.