Oh Good Grief

In my decluttering attempts, I got rid of a really big desk and took a bunch of stuff to the basement. It appears that I may have alertly taken my last two packs of checks down there and they are somewhere. I discovered today that I don’t know where they are. This is bad.

Well, since I couldn’t remember whether I even had any more checks, I couldn’t remember the next number I was supposed to order. So, first I tried to order from the bank website, which is where I normally order. But I ran into snag after snag, mostly because I didn’t know that number. Next, I tried VistaPrint (Home of the Free Stuff!). I slogged through the process of entering all the data, waiting forever for everything to load, etc., and finally got to the part where I was supposed to get my free checks. They rightly figured that once you have gone through the extremely lengthy process to order your free 25 checks, you might figure it would be worth it to go ahead and get 150 for only $9.99. OK, sure, go ahead. The next screen asks me if I want duplicate checks for another $1.50. OF COURSE I want duplicate checks. Then we have to choose the shipping method — one of the choices was called VERY SLOW. Finally, I think we are about ready to check out.

BUT NO. Now I have the opportunity to go ahead and order business cards and notepads on this screen. And now a nice magnetized box for my post-its or some labels on this screen. After two or three MORE screens, I got the one that said I had earned a free magazine subscription, and I couldn’t find anywhere that I could say I didn’t want the magazine. How much time have I spent on this by now?

Finally, I said. FORGET IT!!!!

Got back on the bank website, called the bank to find out what is the stupid check number I need. Bank can’t tell me but transferred me to the check company who can. But the check company has to make sure it is really me going through this ordeal, so I have to verify everything under the sun. Getting the mysterious number from the check company is what told me I have some checks around here somewhere.

Back to the check company website to place the order. Finally, finally, finally, it is in process.

People out there probably like Vista Print, but I found the interminable upselling to be maddening. And I was reminded, there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch!

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